F*ck the Documentary

That is the title of an absolutely pointless, childish and stupid documentary I had the misfortune to watch a few weeks ago.

There’s maybe a decent 30 minute programme in there somewhere but it’s stretched out to a feature. A long, smug feature. It avoids the etymological side completely which would be probably most people’s reason for watching it.

Who is this aimed at? Me probably, 30 something designer who has dinner parties and owns several pairs of shoes. But it’s just the smugness of the whole thing. Jeanine Garofalo and Kevin Smith are in it…anything with them two MUST be witty and urbane. Billy Connolly is in it as well. I used to really love him until I listened to every album he has one weekend and realised his act is so phoney, if you were to plot the time codes on a graph of how far into each show he mentions he was a welder it would give you a straight line.

If this was 1989 it would be sought out and devoured by 10 year olds from all around the world, from London to Bombay. But the 10 year olds of today see more hardcore porn on their phones on the bus to school than my generation ever amounted in 20 years of scruffy magazines, dirty tapes and now the appalling vista of online filth. Nobody is interested in the F word now. I’d watch a documentary called GEEBAG though.

It’s probably not as bad as that absolute waste of time, energy, air, molecules and the little things smaller than molecules; ‘A complete history of my sexual failures’ but it should be filed beside it in the pretentious, “I’m going to France to see Leonard Cohen live and I’ll read Hunter S Thompson on the plane” folder for idiots who really should know better.

You’re life is ending one shit download at a time. Skip this one and tidy up all the wires under the television.

Posted in Blog, films, rants, videos by Bob on Aug 15th | 4 Comments