Look at that. I love it.

A fantastic xmas gift landed in my post box yesterday, original art from the best Irish comic artist Phil Barrett. He has me down. Miserable, weird and complaining.

Such draftsmanship. Check out that lettering. It’s brilliant. He puts me to shame really. You should buy some of his comics,, dirt cheap QUALITY productions and I’m sure they come with a little doodle. The new MATTER is fantastic. His blog is here .

Thanks man.

Last post of 2008, have to say it was a great year. So many wonderful and weird things happened. And continuing my millionaire comic artist lifestyle, I’m going to Spain for xmas. Cheers to everybody for joining in the messing. Big plans for everything in ‘09 including the comic classes and a new online comic thing.

Just a quickie, nearly finished that Twisted Tales. I can’t post any of the good stuff or it will ruin the story.So here’s the bad stuff.

Jesus it’s shocking how different the colours look on this screen. My monitor is in bits. I have a bra and a dictionary shoved behind it to tilt it forward a bit. I also have a giant TMNT Leonardo leaning against a dodgy plug that needs to pressed or it won’t work.

Last week on Stern he did an off the cuff bit on how easy it is to make a hit song. He’s always doing this but this example demonstrates perfectly both his genius and how shit/easy/tame salable music is to make. Again this is made up on the spot, he gets angry, tells Fred to pick up his guitar and within seconds we have gold.

I have nothing against the Ronan Keatings or Jonas Brothers of the world. It’s the infrastructures that pushes and broadcasts that shit that should be condemned.

You have to listen Howard Stern, I’m like a Jehovahs Witness pushing it on people. Each show is 5 hours. C’mon.

My favourite moment of ‘08

One of my favourite prank calls from this year, stick with it, it’s so silly.

I’m sort of hoping that 2009 sees further economic ruin and my day job moves to a four day week. I need more time at the drawing board. I have a new book 80% finished and a few other ones planned out but everything has just stalled. Swell Hogan is the provisional title I give most new stories.

Swell Hogan was the first film produced by Howard Hughes back in 1926 and was so crap that he had it destroyed before it was released. I read that it featured a scene where Swell Hogan wanks a bull thinking it’s a cow. I just love the name. It’s so shit. Swell.

My story is about a lonely traveling salesman who falls in love with a hugging machine. Expect it in 2054 along with my next Twisted Tale.

Hint fokkin hint

Man he’s a fool and all but you have to give him credit for dodging that first shoe. What a video.

Don’t think I posted this before. An old window sticker design featuring the Guaranteed Irish symbol. I included it on lots of things until I got a letter telling me I owed them money for using it. As my former crankier self, eager to fight with anybody just for the sake of aggro I contested it. You can’t copyright Corn Flakes because thats what they are; flakes of corn. I have an Irish passport and am scared of black people so I’m Irish. Guaranteed.

Get this, this really annoyed me and has added a nice prong to my forthcoming HATE Extravaganza comic Spazzmoid where I will lambaste all the people I hate in my life. All the phoney bastards I meet through comics, all the painfully hip wankers and idiot adults who act like 16 year olds. I bought some of that Salvia Divornum not realising you have to smoke it in a pipe and its trippy, I thought it I could bang it into a joint, I googled it and found this thing. I wanted to reach into the internet and strangle the world. A ’smokers forum’.

They kept mentioning SWIM and I was confused. Then I read at the bottom it’s an acronym for ‘Somebody who isn’t me’. Used so they won’t incriminate themselves. Read the forum. It’ll drive you fucking crazy!!!

I’m not fond of people who aimlessly watch telly, listen to commercial radio and generally just swallow what tripe is given to them. But I find myself hating ‘alternative’ people more. Yeah we all go through the same ‘alternative’ thing in your late teen/20’s, discovering Leonard Cohen and Dylan, pretending to like William Burroughs, giggling at anti establishment things like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, wanting to go to Amsterdam, sending away for absinthe. You know how it goes. A nice safe rebellion where you can look down at poor dopes on the sofa with the haircuts. But when I meet these textbook indie people in their 30-40’s I want to cry. Get that fucking piercing out of your lip and iron your jeans.

Ah I’ve ran out of steam and I’m not explaining it properly. Its better with pictures an diagrams. I really hope the clowns on that forum are 18-20. ‘Incriminate yourself’ they love it. They revel in it. As if anybody cares.

Angrily stomping his way through Tokyo to the comic library. The Duke is received by Ito San and added to the hallowed ranks.

I can’t make out the other comics he’s holding but I hope he washes his hands. ZING! Big Thanks to Cliodhna who bagged a trip to Japan to draw comics for some reason.

I just spotted this on her blog, Brendan and the Book Kells appears to nearly ready for release. It’s an amazing film produced by the Cartoon Saloon down in Kilknenny where she works. I visited the studio 5 or 6 years ago to discuss making an animated short of Amperduke. It didn’t happen but at least I stole a stapler when I was down there.

I love this site. But I think it needs to be tweaked and re-designed here and there. I have NO coding skills whatsoever so I’m at the mercy of others, Frank who built this whole thing 3 years ago now has a life and can’t spare the time so I needed a new web pal. Thankfully I work with a lad who sorted out something I’ve been trying to do for months, nuff respect John. The new Amperduke landing page is ready.

And remember dudes, it makes a great xmas present and comes signed with whatever message you want AND with an original panel from the book. Cheques, cash and marbles accepted.

Phwoar. The Duke gets bummed by Duncan Shalev to celebrate the launch of Frankenstein

So to reiterate; Amperduke for Christmas.

Hey all, The Apartment, probably my favourite Twisted Tale is out now so grab a 2000AD this week before it’s too late. It has 16 panels per page like Amperduke so you’re going to love it.

It features a ton of nifty robotic action and has a doooooozey of an ending. It turns out that life is just a video game being played by an alien. Yeah right! How many times has that been used? Or vampires, enough with the fucking vampires.

My main man Shalvey has a new book out which takes the piss out of mainstream comics called Tim Skinner; Total Scumbag and it’s great. It’s solid writing from Andy and Dec’s art is off the hook boyeeeez. He covers loads of different styles. Dec the heathen never heard of Fred Hembeck, who destroyed the Marvel Universe when I was 10. I loved that comic.

So it’s December. I have tons of news and funny gick to impart but I’m struggling to find the time recently, I still have to finish my Smurf posts. Well, alls good, there’s a clamnuts revamp happening before xmas and I’m finishing up a Twisted Tales featuring this miserable old fuck

Man why is everything shit? Not that I’m a fan but I can assure everybody that Guns and Roses new album Chinese Democracy thoroughly sucks dick. Then I watch Irma la Douce and it’s crap THEN I watch the biggest pile of shit since the Matrix sequels in the form of The Orphanage, an absolute stinker of a movie. THEN I was so depressed that I had to take one off the wrist and instead of jizz coming out, a bunch of terrorists invaded a hotel in India.

The highlight of my weekend was beating off to this: