Hey all, just a quickie to tell you about Cliodhna’s new project

Full details here

Cliodhna lost her Dad tragically last year while a mission with GOAL and all proceeds from the book will go to the organisation. So take a read of the brief and get submitting. I’m planning a 4 pager for it.

Cheers,
B

Yeah come on

vote for me.

It only takes a minute girl.

I’m in the FAVOURITE COMIC ARTIST/WRITER category right beside Alan Moore…that guy. This is only the longlist so the shortlist voting will be next month I presume.

It’s a British awards thing so let’s zing it by voting Irish. My good Fwend and bumchum Dec Shalvey is up for Favourite Newcomer despite winning one last year and my main nigguz Al and Ian who do SANCHO are in The Favourite European comic category.

Vote. Tell your pals to vote. Make new pals and tell them to vote. Make new pals by voting.

Vote Here

Thanks fwends!
Bob

They used to call me the Gee Master but now its The Ski Master.

Went Skiing in Austria, not as gay as I thought it would be. I had what only can be described as my first panic attack on the first day though. I was completely freaked out by the size of the mountains and felt trapped. Just the enormity of it all. It reminded me of story I read where the first space tourists make it to the moon but as soon as they get there they all just slit their throats because they’re freaked out. Wave after wave of them landing on the moon and just slitting their fat throats. That was me.

But by day three I was deadly at it so fuck you. Frank wrecked his leg a couple of weeks ago skiing and his Obi-Wan like ghost kept appearing and telling me to slow down so I did.

My inboxes are crammed with mails so bear with me. One that jumped out was Rich Smith’s tribute art to Amperduke!

I fuckin’ love it!!!! LOVE IT! Check out the wrinkly prune tits on that fine Snodule skank.Come on kids, send in your Amperduke art and I’ll post it here. Dec drew his rendition for me at the Tequila Launch which I must dig out. Plus Domen from Slovenia drew me this. Send them in, the sillier and shitter the better!

I wrote a 4 pager promoting safe web use for da kids before Christmas and my main negroid Stephen Moondog Mooney drew it. See it here

The Amperduke launch date will be announced tomorrow.

So according to Matt Vinyl, the Shiznit made an appearance in RTE’s new sit com The Roaring Twenties last week. Haven’t seen it and am reserving judgement. I’d be excited if not for two things, 1) I don’t make anything from it as sales don’t increase on a free comic thats out of print and 2) I’ve been here before.

A few years ago I was approached by an art director from RTE asking for clearance to use MBLEH in their new contempory and relevant drama series. I of course was flattered, agreed and talked it up in my circles. This programme turned out to be the Big Bow Wow and it was a steaming pile of gick. So bad in fact that RTE actually rescheduled it to run twice weekly so they could wash their hands of it. It was awful. It cost 2 fokkin million to produce too.

So why is everything Irish just shit? Naked Camera can be funny, Podge and Rodge are okay and The Blizzard of Odd was outstanding but nearly every RTE production sucks a camel’s dick. I know the writers have the best intentions but how can they miss the mark repeatedly? I thought that comedy series STEW was spot on though. That girl is deadly and genuinely funny in all the sketches.

Well there was another good show called Custers Last Stand Up which was really good where the kids actually used real accents. Sweet suffering fuck I can’t stand or comprehend what goes on in these people’s heads.

The fake Dublin accents in The Commitments and The Family, etc are insulting. It’s a hard one to peg though, one side you have the affected Dublin 4 accent with all the soft ’s’ nonsense, in the middle you have real people and then there’s Damien Dempsey. What part of Dublin is that clown from?

Fuck everyone.

Wham!! Had to temporarily remove the Thinkhouse post till they print the cards. Yep so Brendan Behan double whammy, got a mention on the Forbidden Planet Blog about being like Behan and my good friend Sean Lennon just opened a Behan exhibiton.

Sean is my brother in law’s wife’s brother in law so we’re nearly family. I was trying to relate to Yvonne how exciting it is to meet another artist, how there is an affinity, sort of like a survivor’s group or something. We just know each other’s pain. Trying to handle a 9-5, a family and your dream is a killer.

This one is my favourite. He looks like a big sickly pint of Guinness.

I think it’s running for another 6 weeks or so, it’s in the Dublin Writers Museum and apparently if you tell them at the door that you’re just there for the exhibition you dont have to pay in to the museum. Great work, combining portraiture, cartooning and story telling all at once. Big pieces too, around 5′x5′ each. Drop Sean a line if you want more info SEANJLENNON at GMAIL dot COM.

So is being compared to big fat alco good? Don’t know. I’m not that big of a drinker anymore. Although I have to go get blood tests on Monday because my big fat liver is weird. I’ll be gutted if its from drinking because I’d expect to get in at least around 10 years of continuos boozing before it clapped up. Has to be cholesterol, I ate breakfast rolls everyday for 4 years and if there were pints the night before sometimes I’d have two breakfast rolls. So it’s looking like 2008 is the year of steamed broccoli.

Wank.

STILL scannerless so I cant post my 24hr comic day thing. I’m putting the two of them and a few other yolks into a book and publishing it through lulu.com for the buzz. Ordered a Graphic Novel from lulu and the quality really is deadly.

Here’s one page from it taken with the digicam.

I have an animal new pc but I need to put a new operating system on it or something, going to get back into the screen recording.
Here’s a youtube gem:

Here, what the fuck was up with John Waters getting 3 seperate articles and the cover of the Sunday Independant? 2 x 3 page articles and then one in the main paper. Hate that shitty paper anyway, I have nothing against Waters but enough with the dick sucking! Journalists writing about journalists who will reciprocate by plugging each other’s books on my dime. I hate it.

Fuck Dublin Bus in the ear. Pack of wankers going on strike. Yes, it discommodes me that I can’t get into work on time but what about all the poor grannies who have to get to the Hospital to have their cyst drained or whatever? It just dumps on any good will we have towards Dublin Bus.

Completely stupid. If they want to strike AND get the public behind them, just operate as usual and don’t take fares. It’s simple as that.

Geebags. Inbred geebags who spit when they talk and watch Fair City while eating a crappy Gateaux cake from the 80’s.

Yes.

A strange topic to bring up here but it needs to said. I’ve been watching it and enjoying it for 3 weeks in a row but when I hear people talk about it I want to slap them.

I’ve found myself watching telly on Sunday nights again and I like the programme. But this is what kills me, their ad libs and wacky stories are rehearsed and contrived and it should be glaringly clear to most people but it’s not. I said it to a bloke I know and he just couldn’t accept it.

The hosts have freely admitted that they rehearse and write their lines and loads of the stunts are phoney. Look at this, the famous Reliant Space Shuttle stunt and it’s fake explosion.

Now again I’m not dumping on the show just the fuckwits who take whats presented on screen as fact and not as the silly but enjoyable pantomime it is. They admitted that this caravan scene was pure fake and it even got a mention on Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipes as a prime example of this kind of shit.

This was described to me by a friend and he was so sucked into the whole thing. It’s worrying, that perfectly normal intelligent people don’t know when they are being played. I don’t think I’m stating the obvious with this one.

Top Gear is now followed by the Long Way Down which is 3 lads on bikes followed by around 500 support people in a convoy behind them and it could do with some of the Top Gear fakery. It’s SHIT!! Where’s the challenge or excitement?

Bring back the Crystal Maze.

Don’t believe the hype.

Around the mid 90’s, Poncho was big into Image Comics. I read more than my fair share of them, Youngblood, Spawn, Savage Dragon etc. They were enjoyable reads but after a while my main reason for getting my paws on any Image title was to see if Rob Liefeld had any work in it. I was already well aware of his weird proportions, stiff composition and ludicrous plagarism but it took Poncho to point this out to me:

Rob Liefeld can’t draw feet.

It soon became an obsession, going through all the back issues , sometimes laughing, sometimes in awe of his ability to structure a frame or a page layout so that the feet are truncated or obscured.There was one classic page where Cable is standing, and everything looks good till your eyes reach his feet where a German Shepherd conveniently sits, a feet blocking German Shepherd. Here’s exhibit 1. Check these, my favourite one is the X-Force cover with Juggernaut, that dodgy looking cloud of yellow smoke rids the artist of any annoying forshortening.

And when he HAD to draw feet, they usually looked like this……….

And his figure drawing sometimes threw away all the rules and invented new ones. Check out the scale of these characters standing beside each other, and that Captain America is just silly looking!

But I honestly admire him. For somebody to reach such heights in any field with an obvious flaw should be admired. And the further I rank in the biz the more I respect him. Yeah, he’s a hack but so am I. If I waited until I was 100% competent before getting into comics, my first published work would be out in 2056. Plus in the recent ‘Liefeld attacks Alan Moore’ scandal I take his side in alot of points. That’s for another day.

So hate Liefeld if you want. But he’s sleeping sound tonight while you shuffle around the comic shops like the scrud that you are, talking about Kevin Smith and wearing some lame t-shirt, pulling the underwear slying out from the crack of your arse and when you get home you sniff your finger and it still smells. And this makes you happy.