July 23rd, 2007
Fucking humans
Neh, went to see Transformers last night and didn’t really like it. Enough with the fucking humans! I see humans everyday and then when they actually transformed they looked gay. That scene where they’re all hiding in the garden was painful. Up there with the custard pie scene in the original Dawn of the Dead.
I wondered if the Transfomers would talk in it when it was announced to be made. And they do. Prime sounds good but his third or fourth sentence is ‘Oops! My bad’ when he stands ons something. WHAT THE FUCK? Optimus Prime is a father figure to my generation, strong and silent, not some faggy uncle who brings you Walnut Whirls instead of Curly Wurlys.
The design of the mechs is gay too. Loads of lame talking and although the lead dude is entertaining and the script is tight I was confused at some of the pacing. I think I’ll have to watch the whole thing again in slow motion, underwater on smack to take in the intricate effects. Yeah so, in a complete contradictary move the scraps were good. How could they be bad? I thought the scale and the scope of the battles was all wrong though, just didn’t flow right. They seemed intent on keeping the robots completely in shot and it looks stiff.
Ah I’m a grumpy bastard. Been waitng 20 years to see Megatron and Prime in real life so I cant complain.
But the voices and characterisation is gay, too many humans and not enough transformeridge. I bought the Top Trumps 2 weeks ago and was disgusted to see out of the 40 or so cards, around 15 of them robots and the rest were all the supporting human cast. Threw them out.
This is what it sounds like when doves cry.
