December 7th, 2006
Hate list stuff: Trendy jeans and The Hoff
Wiggedy wiggedy whizzo! Here is a snifter at some of the dopest shit out on the streets. So tempting just to post the whole six pages but I have to ration this stuff out like cornflour 1946.
Yes I hate them ridiculous expensive ‘dirty’ jeans with pre made grass streaks and rust and all the crap on them. Is it male office workers trying to claw back some masculinity? To at least try covince themselves that they have a life and are sliding in grass and crawling under cars? Whatever it is, it’s gay.
Hate the recent Hasslehoff fandom. Like every one 25-30 who grew up with Knight Rider, I have a soft spot for him but I have overheard too many idiots say ‘Aw man The Hoff rules’ and all that jazz. It just annoys me for some reason. I’m too cool for it is what I’m getting at. And that porn name game. FUCK!!! I seriously think it’s on par with the way young girls count how many times moving the ring pull thing on a can before breaks off will give you the initials of your future fellah. Or lads doing the Steo Superman ‘S”. It was amusing once I’ll admit. But so was licking batteries, sharpening ice pop sticks and putting buttercups under your chin.
December 7th, 2006 at 1:43 am
Aye…’tis true…we are a bitter angry people, cartoonists…
December 7th, 2006 at 10:00 am
With you on that one Bob.
I receive those generic emails in work everyday, and eveyone else in the Hoffice thinks they’re hilarious.
I wish these people would just fuckHoff. I liked to give them such an Hofful beatin’ that they’d end up in the Hoffpital with their fuckin’ teeth knocked out…..Hoffing up blood. Then I’d visit them, laughing my headHoff eating a packet of Hoffees, whilst they just lie there……..being fed their mushed up Hoff threw a Hoff.
Check this shit…………………….http://www.thehoff.org/
Go to the Hoff facts and observe fact #121……….
“Did you know this little known fact about “The Hoff”?
………………..the hoff is actually robert deniro. danny devito, and orlando blooms father ”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??!?!??!………
…..ITS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY??!?!?
………IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE………..!!!!!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
December 7th, 2006 at 11:13 am
Or, maybe it makes TOO much sense. Ah, i meself have a soft spot for that Hoffmeister, till he traded the black car in for a gammy red one on Knight Rider 2000, but that’s another story. Where did all this ….eh erHofficism come from? (tryin to come up with a pun to rival Brians, but no dice)
Hate those feckin jeans, with the fake rips and don’t get me started on the bleached ones!
At least yer man the fan took the bother of lookin at yer stuff. Why does he have foetus-hands?
Dec
December 7th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I can see Brian rapping on The Den someday. Great writing and gags there dude. Nah Dec that’s not a tan, he’s like a newborn pink mouse, all gimpy and betrooty. Why would a comics loser have a tan?
December 7th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
HAH the first one made me laugh out loud (kinda rare for me.)
Good stuff.
You know that pornstar name game? That’s actually just a hacker trick. For example, your mothers maiden name or your pets name are extremely common security questions. But hey, let’s publish them together on a public forum because IT’S SO HILARIOUS.
December 8th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
yeah the first ones the funniest - although the ballymount massive are well aware of your hatred for philip style jeans. The inside out look is also a good one - i have an inside outee tshirt, wore it into work and someone says ‘thats inside out,’ then added sheepishly ‘oh its supposed to look like that’. Ha! But it was inside out, the jokes on them though….i think.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
Face it Bob, you just have a crap porn star name. Those of us with killer porn star names are cooler than the Hoff.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Yeah I wore a rusty pair of jeans once when I was 17, my brother ripped the piss out of me so bad I threw them out, i guess he was just looking out for me.
that hacker trick is fascinating, makers perfect sense, my Bambi Walker alter ego dies here.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Ah clothes.I buy all my stuff from Heatons. All the shit in Dunnes has crappy logo’s and prints on them, seen one last night on a dude and it said ‘Las Vegas ‘ on it with this shit beat up print effect on it. Terrible.
I couldn’t find any clothes at home this week and had to wash new ones but then I remembered where they all were, hanging up in my wardrobe. Tons of them. See what happens when you try to organise your shit?
December 8th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
I’m with you 100% on the whole “Hoff” phenomenon. Basically it’s the kind of thing that the likes of Ian Dempsey find Hi-llllarious. And let’s face it, if you and Ian Dempsey find the same things funny…it’s time to kill yourself.
Simon Pegg’s fabulous comments about “The Timewarp” (in the fabulous “Spaced”) spring to mind:
“I hate it! It’s boil-in-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants and first-year Drama students with too many posters of Betty Blue, the Blues Brothers, Big Blue, and Blue Velvet on their blue bloody walls!”
Similar thing with “The Hoff” perhaps. “Look everybody, I’m full of wacky retro/kitsch fun…and stuff…and who remembers the A-Team?”
It’s Richard Blackwood on “I love 1982″. It’s “Abba: The Musical” (or whatever). It’s very, very sad people trying to be cool.
December 9th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Jesus dude you hit the fucking nail flat on the head several times there. Yes, the Spaced rant is exactly what I mean. I might re-write the comic to squeeze that in. Nice one bro
December 9th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
You’re welcome, Bob. Happy to help get the juices flowing (ooer).