June 17th, 2008
I was just standing at the bus stop when WHAMMO!!!this 4 year old girl socked me in the daddybag. That’s all I have to say about it.
I hope she grows up with a mustache
UPDATE: Just got this great pic sent to me by Dee de Barra. I love being me!
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June 17th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
I sent that kid Bob. The corner was bent on the Amperduke I bought in Forbidden Planet.
June 17th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Neh, I’m sorry. It’s worth more or something.
She was definitely on a mission though, seek and destroy. Man I have so many stories about my balls getting injured. Some funny some not so. But I’ve had to go to the doctors 3 times about my nuts being sprained or whatever.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
How the hell do you sprain a bollock? You’re just trying to make it sound like you’re riding all the time, arent ya Bob?
Stealth nad-punches are bad, but the worst thing I remember like that was living with a bunch of stoners in cork. For three months the fuckers were fascinated with sack-tapping and I lived in constant fear for my testes, because any movement could expose you to a surprisingly quick snap of the hand and tender-bollocked agony….
June 17th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Definitely not from sex, one from jumping down the stairs, one from diddling and one from sitting down wrong in tight trews. Its something you sort of grow
out of though isn’t it? I remember as a kid it was a weekly thing, getting a slap in the nuts. I’ll draw up my worst ever experience, jesus christ it hurt.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
good christ!
A proper hit can feck you up for quite a while.
It`s not as bad as those shit little kids chair yokes that we had in my old primary school.They had weird little bars on each side and if you sat on the they went right up your arse faster than Gary Glitter!
June 18th, 2008 at 1:11 am
That. is. hilarious. I told my friend’s 6 year old to punch him the the crotch sometime the next day when he wasn’t expecting it. She ratted me out.
June 18th, 2008 at 5:17 am
I’ve 4 kids but only three are of bollock endangering age. Those three have a propensity to do things like run through your legs and nut you in the nuts on the way through. Feckers.
June 18th, 2008 at 5:41 am
The worst story I ever heard was from a mate in school; he’d been at some fairly shit state school before moving to spain (alright for some, etc etc) and the last year he was there, this girl had bought some brand new doc martens with steel toecaps. She’d had some sort of lengthy grudge against some guy in her class so in the middle of lunch break she walks up to him while he’s chatting to his mates, and for no real reason kicks him as hard as she can in straight in the ballbag. He had to go to hospital, got stitches and even had to have some sort of weird inflatable ring thing to make sure he didn’t squash them when he sat down (kind of like what people get when they’ve got ‘roids). Needless to say the girl got the kicking of her life as a result (from the rest of the girls in her class, apparently).
First time I heard that story I swear to god my nads shrank back inside me and hid behind my liver for about a week…
June 18th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Ha Luke I think I know those chairs.
You’ve said it before Matt, but 4 kids??!!! Jaysis. Yeah I suppose once you have babies your nads are back in danger. Sort of like getting a dog, they can pounce on your sack anytime.
Kyle…ugh man. I honestly feel weak when I hear these things. It would make a great anthology comic wouldn’t it? Ball stories, donate the proceeds to charity and all.
Keep em coming lads
June 18th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
The son and daughter of a matador who was killed by a bull hunted the murderous animal all over the south of spain until they found it and beat it in an ‘underground’ bullfight. Victorious they then proceeded to eat its balls right there. truth
And then theres the urban myth about some latino prossie whose father was destroyed by some bullish exec type and she ‘pleasured him’, froze his balls while he slept and then nicked em. The ol you sack my father i’ll eat your balls scenario.
Ah testicles - The most sacred of all organs, the basket, nay the sack from which groweth all living things - and it’s right there dead centre for all to kick. Intelligent design me bollix.
June 18th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Bob, I reckon you’re onto something with the nadthology idea. Proceeds to go to testicular cancer research, a cover with a spoof of that 6 Feet Under episode where yer man was being chased down the street by a giant bollock…it’s making a worrying amount of sense. Make it happen Byrne, you’ve got the contacts.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:20 am
Nadthology! GOLD! DO IT!
June 19th, 2008 at 3:59 am
I’m backing this idea all the way to the ball sack. Do it.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
jeez bob you don’t even need to speak anymore people just see you and get filled with rage and hate and lash out.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Heh, the other half suggested that maybe the kid just really wasn’t impressed with Mister Amperduke (due to an insufficiency of pink fluffy ponies in the cast, perhaps) and this was her very eloquent way of expressing it?
June 20th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Anyone know about ‘Tree Treatment’ or was it just MY junior school? Suddenly 4 kids would each grab one of your limbs then run you towards the nearest tree- knackers-first! It happened to me once but i pulled the ‘knee lock’ and after my kneecaps were all bruised up they gave in, ha!
June 20th, 2008 at 1:36 am
I’ve heard tell of treeing alright Hurk, but was fortunate to never have been a victim of it. I thought it might have been on Playground Law but can’t find anything after a quick search - might be worth rooting around though (playgroundlaw.com).
June 20th, 2008 at 6:09 am
Fucking knew I’d seen it mentioned on there; some really nasty variants of it too:
Posting
Extreme posting
Pressurised posting
Polling
I think my nads have inverted themselves after reading those. Although I’ll admit I burst my hole laughing at the same time…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
I don’t know if my comment is being held for moderation or considered spam, I’ll rephrase:
nadshot dot com for all your nad shot comic needs