August 1st, 2008
Come back you big headed bastard
I got my heart broken last week.
On my walk into town from the bus stop I would pass a real estate agents and most of the time there was this lad around the same age as me with an enormous, bulky head sitting in the window. He looked like a fired up young go-getter, with that big bastard cranium bursting with sales leads and anecdotes from the time he met the Kaiser Chiefs. He disappeared for a week and I thought he must be gone on holidays but no, he’s gone and is now replaced by a fat girl
Just to see him prattling along each morning made me laugh out loud. I’ve known many people like that over the years, mostly through working with them. Happily vacuous and square. He probably listened to Spin FM and owned 5 different after shaves. I’ll miss you, you crazy looking cunt. With your big noggin teetering along as you waffled on about how you closed the deal on the apartment on Brunswick Street and your little legs flailing about when you heard something wacky and outrageous on Gerry Ryan.
It’s amazing how much of a rut you get into going to work. I invent names and back stories for all the people I see on the bus each day. And I’m sure they have a few for me. Greasey mac Slime, Bed head McNulty etc. I aways draw little pictures of them in my diary and it’s funny shit,
August 1st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
I love people watching.
I go through phases of doing different things (such as your back stories thing) but at the moment I’m doing “real tits or fake” and “dyke or not”.
Thousands of women have gotten implants, and there are dykes everywhere, so there’s plenty of action in my game!
Sometimes I pass beautiful women on the way to work, and I wonder if I’ll ever see them again on my boring 30 minue walk. I never do unfortunately…
August 1st, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Yeah I hear you, alot of fake titties all of a sudden. The worst is when you see the same girl everyday and part of you wants to talk to her but you know it’s a bad idea because you have do it EVERYDAY then. There’s these 3 tiny little Filipino girls at my bus stop ( I call them the Jawas) and I used to talk to them but now I rudely snub them, don’t even make (slanty) eye contact with them.
August 1st, 2008 at 8:42 pm
A poem by Bob Byrne
COME BACK YOU BIG HEADED BASTARD
On my walk into town
There was a real estate agent
the same age as me I would’ve said
with an enormous,
fired up bulky go-getter head
sitting down so he was
behind a big window.
that big bastard cranium bursting with sales leads
and anecdotes from the time he met the Kaiser Chiefs.
He disappeared
for about a week
gone on holidays is what I thought
but no, he’s not
he’s replaced
by a fat girl
I so so so miss his big head sitting there
Happily vacuous
Vacuous and square.
He probably listened to Spin FM
and owned 5 different after shaves.
I’ll miss you, you crazy looking cunt.
All your words ted
August 1st, 2008 at 9:31 pm
waitaminnut
you have a DIARY?! and you draw strangers in it?
but yeah, I know that feeling when you`re standing alone at the bus stop in the morning standing beside someone who`s always there waiting anxiously for the bus to come before they say “hi” or “terrible weather” or whatever and kickoff this really awkward cycle of having to say something to them or else they seem surprisingly pissed off every morning.especially if they did something really nice like holding the bus for you when you`re a bit late one morning.then you seem like a prick if you don`t say hi the next day.
and is it my imagination,or is bighead using a wacom?
August 1st, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Yeah all I think about is shagging burds on the bus. I remember back in the Dunlaoighre days I would be on the 75 all the time. There was this bloke who was the older brother of this prick I was in school with. One day he left this message on my bebo and we ended up doing this back and fourth chat thing, but NEVER gave each other a glance on the bus. Yet through bebo we would rip the piss out of the various tards on the bus. Bus politics suck.
The biggest mistake I ever made was approaching a 75 regular while pissed in rathfarnham village one time, she had no idea who I was.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Uisce stop trying to gay me with your poetic formatting. Poems are meant to rhyme anyway. Looks good though!
Yeah Luke I’ve been keeping a diary nearly 10 years now, I write in it at least once a week to document my fantastic life of sitting alone in a room drawing.
He’s writing in the pic, it’s not a wacom.
PMC, I’ve done exactly the same thing. I was in love with a girl on my bus and then I bumped into her a few years ago and I was all smiles and she didn’t know who I was obviously because we never spoke. That didn’t stop me dousing myself with white hot searing jets of mank everyday though.
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 am
Polish chicks on the bus. I assume I’m not the only one imagining they are all strippers?
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:50 am
cleaners
August 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am
I work with this guy you’ve drawn. I set my watch to his life. Once I said something that caused him to internally challenge his view of the world and he looked very worried. Poor lad.
August 8th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
The bus man gave me a double ticket the other day and he called me back up to ask me if had it but I dumped it and couldn’t find it.
He was well fucked off and we had this little back and forth for about a minute, and about halfway through I looked back up the bus and the passengers had expressions on their face like they were watching the gun battle from the start of Hard Boiled.
Now everday when I get on I feel their eyes on me (’that’s the guy who starts fights with the drivers’), hoping it’ll kick off again.
I wonder how much they exaggerated that incident once they got into work, just to have something to slabber about.
August 28th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Everyday i see a midget smoking a johny playa when i get off the bus in town.My brain always plays the same shit “that’ll stunt his growth joke” and i am left to spend the rest of the day safe in the knowledge that i am an unfunny prick who can only think of jokes yer grandad would.
tell paul to stop leaving ugly fuckin beans soaking in pots in the kitchen.
manky bastard.