Contemporary male hairstyles are gay
I think I want to be a bitter cripple that stares out the window all day. Yesterday during my illicit gazing sessions when I should be working on comics I saw a group of lads strutting their stuff and it hit me with same future shock I get now and then when I see flat screen tellies. What the fuck is up with young men’s hairstyles?
Besides the fact they were decked out in pastel blues and pink their hair just confused me and made me feel old and annoyed. If I saw them in town or in Rathgar or whatever I wouldn’t give them a second thought, but these were in Jobstown and constituted the average mindlessly roving gang that every estate has. Somebody please tell me what these hairstyles are called or give me a link to a website. One thing that gets me is that when I was a young metaller, long hair and combats stood out a mile in Tallaght and you’d get stick at every turn, but now these same little hardmen knackers have gelled, sprayed, frazzled, styled and girly hair so do they still give metallers and rockers the same abuse. How could they shout ‘State of your hair!’ at any one?
Their hairstyles are ridiculous. This, shaggy and erratic crap interrupted with highlights and tints goes beyond angering me in the sense of measuring their vanity but that these kids have been suckered. The pushing of cosmetics on to men is getting out of hand, a friend who has a 14 year old told me that the kid ‘needs’ a special shampoo, a special conditioner and 3 different waxes and gels to compose his crown. That is so gay! What next? Manpons?
These hair-do’s seem to be designed to just act a substrate for styling products. Nothing more. An apparatus made to consume as much products as possible and in need in of constant attention. It’s amazing how pics of men from the 1990’s look hilarious yet at the time we looked good, but these crazy hairstyles look ridiculous NOW and that says a lot.
I still don’t know how to use a search engine properly, can’t find out what this new wave of shitness is called. I think the ‘out of bed’ look era has passed and this style isn’t exactly designed to look spontaneous or casual, anybody know what it’s called? How about Faggerachi or something.
Moral: Pride in your appearance if you are a man means you like kissing willies.
(My hairstyle explained here)
13 Comments:
I've seen guys with hairstyles I'd only previously seen in The Beano. I mean, so bad, I'll hafta draw them to illustrate my point. And what's with this new ad for 'Surf' hair? WTF??? You'd get beaten up by STUDENTS for walking round with hair like that. And finally, what's with these mullet sported by spanish students now? It's like they're trying to sya "I'm studying for the next 8 years. I don't want anyone to take a sexual interest in me", like some modern day St. Brigid...
Bob sez: Exactly man. EXACTLY.
Brian sez:
Yeah the Spanish Vomlette. According to Rodget's "a word which best describes the feeling of nausea caused by a female spanish mullet.Usually worn by young Spanish females that smoke rollies and piss in the street standing up".
It has been said that the reason it is so popular in Spain is due to the fact that there is no actual national slang for the style, hence making it harder to be used as a derogatory term. Scroll down the following page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullet_%28haircut%29
Their heads look like ramps. I keep getting the urge to run a BMX over them.
These hair cuts cost a fortune too I'm told. I still feel sick after forking out 13 yoyo for a dry cut! Come on man. It takes me days to get over it and weeks for my hair to recover. That money could have been invested wisely in approx 3 pints of the black stuff or some backstreet lap dancers thong or someting. Gay, Gay, Gay. As for Spanish mullets, come on man!
I'd call it the Chav-Jizzwash combo haircut....possession of which should be punished with summary execution.
The solution to many of Ireland's social problems.
MK
These horrible haircuts are all indescribable evolutions of the faux-hawk first championed by the twats on that reality show The Salon. As we know skangers love reality TV and it didnt take long for skanger men to realise that nothing got their birds hotter than gay hairdressers. Nothing tickles my funny bone more than being slagged for being a smelly old rocker by some wee smooth skinned skanger who looks like a rentboy.
Added to that there are the nauseatingly foppish haircuts worn by supposed young punks who seem to have taken busted's punkness at face value. Since when was having your hair pasted to your head as if you've been gunked by grottbags seen as a symbol of rebellion.
Bob sez: Is that where they originate?
The Salon?
Could it be something to do with shit fashion-obsessed London backwater Hoxton, where bad pseudo-eighties haircuts were worn with pride? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoxton_fin
As a homosexual male this post is overly offensive. I mean I'm all for free speech and everything but come on. First off, the whole usuage of the word "gay" to equate to something stupid, is just so 2005 and it needs to go away. I mean you would never say, "Contemporary Male Hairstyles are Nigger"! Using someone's identity to label something as stupid, is in itself stupid. Secondly, your rant is silly since it's sexist. Just because men are finally realizing that girls like guys who are pretty, dosen't make it a bad thing. For centuries women have been coiffing, plucking, shaving, powdering, and slapping on gobs of make up, sometimes toxic makeup, just to draw the attention of men. It's irritating when guys bitch and moan about having to shave and have neatly coifed hair, and call it less manly, when they expect women to do it just becasue they're women. It's hard work to be pretty, and I for one am very happy to see kids looking nice. It's a lot better than them walking around, with their pants hanging off their butts, and their faces greasy with oil. If you're going to say that guys shouldn't pretty themselves up, then you should be making the same declarative statement for women. It's sexist of you to automatically assume that women SHOULD do it. In many cultures around the world, and especially in Africa, it's men who paint their faces, and shave their body hair, in an effort to attract women. They don't bitch, and in their culture it's just natural for men to be prettier than women. So until western guys are ready to have hairy pitted women walking around, you should just get over yourself, and get into the bathroom and wax up that hair!
Bob sez: My god, an intelligent comment! I get the same complaint from
my one gay friend, he's not over the top gay but still gets annoyed when I call things gay. I've been using it since I was 8 and it doesn't always mean that I'm referencing homosexuals.
I heard a kid shopping with Ma in tesco's a few weeks ago and he yelps 'NO! NO! Don't get cornflakes!They're so gay'. It has traversed insult. I wear gay shoes. I think it has replaced words like 'naff'.Thanks for writing Lovel.
Ha! Theres one in from the leftfield bob! Interestingly when playing Call of Duty online nigger, spic etc will get you kicked from a server but everything can be cursed with the word gay - gay scores, gay shot, gay teammates, gay map etc. I think when the term is used with a innate awareness of ones own integrated gay side as bob does its okay. Lovel should read 'raped in the ear' methinks
THE ONLY REASON WHY U THINK HAIRSTYLES ARE GAY IS CAUSE U CANT PULL ONE OFF N WE LOOK MUCH BETA THAN PPL WITHOUT ONE!!!!!!!!
Bob sez: You go girlfren'!
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