Hash, blow, dope, Uncle Franny's zlorkle, all popular names for eh...hash. The past week or so that's all I've been thinking about. It's bad enough being subjected to the general shit standard of Dublin hash but even worse than that is not being able to get it.

Sweet Fuck it's a terrible situation. I'm not even a big smoker, a one-skinner a night is all I need after wrapping up the comics. I don't know, is it symptomatic of just growing up and losing touch with all your bogey mates? I just feel stranded up in the new house, when we were living in Springfield there was enough traffic of young dodgy looking lads walking past the house that I could get sorted from strangers.

At night there'd be a gang of kids 16-19 hanging around a wall looking sussy, I'd put on my disguise and storm up to them as I if was going to shoot one of them. It's all about playing the odds, I've done a fair bit of teenage wall loitering and if some older dude came over to us, a group of 5 or 6 knacker kids, you'd listen to what he said. It's the same dangerous mob mentality that would cause them to brick you walking across their field that would also cause them to go out of their way to oblige the grim faced desperate smoker. I presume it makes them feel older or something.

The hash disguise. A hat and a smoke. I'd get all Batman and put a scar on my face if I could. The hat takes the general gay nerd look off me and the smoke is an invaluable prop, add an old Umbro jumper and there you go. Keep one hand tight inside the coat to give it the extra flavour. Put some parsley on your chin for a bit of garnish.

Getting back to the availability and quality thing, it's a tired point about the availability and general dangers of alcohol but it da troof. Looks like home growing is the way to go, I reckon I have the patience to do it right. But it's overkill. I just want a good old fashioned score block mailed out to me every week. I met a dude who used to get Pringle tubes full of grass sent over to him from South Africa. That's the way to do it. When are we going to get Wonka-Vision? Bang over enough for a spliff in an email, heh then your front room would be full of tins of spam.

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