I wish! You can buy these Mushroom homes in Turkey. Yeah a lame post it is, so here's a picture of a swastika hidden inside a puzzle game to make up



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Next person to mention 'property ladder' gets it in the nutsack.

Yep, after years of renting and mooching on people's floors I've taken one giant leap and signed up for a mortgage. It's inevitable really but I still feel a bit sick every time I think of it. It was weird how it all worked out in the end, we had our eye on a new estate and when Hayley got wind that the houses were going to be sold she drove up with her mate to suss them out. When they got there they saw that heads were already camping out in order to secure their place in the line. I was informed at 9.40pm on Tuesday night, I was just about to finish up working on the comics for the night. The thoughts of spending 4 days in a car while taking turns going to work didn't appeal and I even considered just letting it go but 30 mins later I was packing my hold-all.

Up at the estate there was a sort of carnival atmosphere, giddy couples in ill fitting outdoor wear, flasks and two portaloo's. I wasn't in the humour of getting to know my would be neighbours as Hayley was and I just sat in the car reading Concrete by Paul Chadwick, listening to my gay little bbc radio, smoking a spliff and just relaxing. It was grand.



When it was around 2 I decided to go to sleep but just as I was getting snug some idiot in another car starts blaring Black Eye Peas, how rude I thought, there are already people living in the other houses. I was ready to hop out of the car and have my first run in with the neighbours when the music stopped, I thought to myself 'Ah, they must have realised the error of their ways' Then the silence is broken with muffled guitar music which reveals itself as James Blunt.
Seriously. I immeadiatley went on a downer, 'Are these the people who I'll have to live with for the next 4 decades? Rude idiots?' I could imagine their houses, decked out in cream and white with no clutter or character. I didn't want any part of this shit. The camping out fun feeling was replaced with hatred, how dare they make people sleep outside for a week just for the privilege of an over priced small house. I wanted to icepick the cunt playing that music so much, I leaped out of the car and they got the message. The music stopped without me having to say or do anything.



Then I got to thinking, maybe when everyone moves in, instead of being the little sap who bangs on the wall to hush loud music, maybe I could become the Daddy of the estate, through intimidation and sweetening of the other males with porn and hash. I got back into my 'bed' with these thoughts playing.

I learned a vewwwy important lesson about how to sleep in a car which will be told next time.
Gotsta do some of that old fashioned work stuff, loads more soon.

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