And Lo it came to pass that Bob finally moved out of his house. The Key is being received today, well tomorrow actually as this is being written on Thursday from home on my pc which has just gotten it's broadband connection revoked, just in the middle of downloading a nice but of flarn too. The new house will only have dial up. Ick.

The receipt of The Key has already passed into a Zelda like status. So many pitfalls and obstructions that it really did seem like a never ending SNES game quest.

Man, if you ever have to buy a house my advice is to bypass the surveyor and solicitor as they are both fucknuts. The lower ranks of both organisations are teeming with sub Super Valu quality checkout gimps/phone answerers who are just biding their time between Gwen Stefani albums and Friday's Fat Frogs. I can't wait untill every call centre and reception is manned by polite Polish who speak better English than us and the thick young Irish slappers go back to Spar and Dunnes where they belong.

I won't be posting for around a week hence as I won't be in work or near a net connection. I only update the site from work as I feel doing it from home is gay. Would you really respect a blogger who posts on the weekend?

The third issue of the Shiznit is being printed right now and there will be a launch party/gig in Dublin city centre in 2 weeks time. Admission is free but a bucket shaker will be making the rounds to drum up cash for issue 4. I'll slap the where and the when up as soon as I know.

So no updates for at least a week. Check out the archvives, I used to be funny.

let me leave you with the best thing in ever
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This was the first product line I designed when I was working on a freelance basis. It was the first time I got to see my drawings in physical form and was a good lesson in product design.

I had to do 12 charcater designs of cartoony shamrocks which would be made in vinyl as fridge magnets or badges. Easy pea-zay. I done a couple first to see how they'd look but I foolishly drew it slightly isometric with a leading edge showing to give an idea of how thick it was (all these were drawn in a rush on the sly in my previous job). The manufacturers saw this as part of the design and added thick black parts on the edges as shown here.



I was amazed at how they interpreted it. It was my fault really. I done up the 12 designs.
And then these came back. I was delighted with them and was excited about my new career.

I done up 12 individual backer cards, point of sale displays and promo brochures for them in preperation for my first trade show.


I had other designs at the show, such as mugs and coasters but I only really cared about these ones. My little pals. Some bigwig purchaser said he didn't like them and that was that, they were killed off and never produced. I managed to rescue about 5 of them though and they now live happily on my fridge.

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Classic. If you don't get this you're a gay

Ahhhh.....the Doraemon cross section. Life is beautiful. I'm going to print this off and bring it into Maplins to get a component list to make my own. I love you Doraemon.

My dear friend DK pictured last christmas drinking two homeless birds' wine.

DK's brother and my close pal/online gaming co-nerd chilling with Brian Kennedy last year. He redeemed the situation with the thumbs up.

Dude dressed up as MegaMan.

Another dude dressed up as MegaMan who looks like me sort of. (Not me)

I love it. An orange getting a cap busted at it in slow motion. Surely a wine apple would be better though.

A Japanese lad doing the MM.

What the fuck is going on here? Who's ever heard of an Easter Album? He's obviously not L'il Richard either. Why is a Kray bruvva staring wistfully away while covered in bunnies? There's just too much happening.

I haven't actually heard this but want it to be my wedding song.

More soon.

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Still on the subject of Liveline, thing in the Sunday Tribune ,which I bought on the strengths of the headline:

RTE Wants lewd caller to share bill for Liveline libel

A caller made a comment about how an Irish politician, Martin Cullen, was riding his PR advisor Monica Leech and now the caller Mr Ronan Petit is being brought to court where he’ll be sued back to the stoneage. Not really exciting you say but lissen dis; It said in the article that RTE’s case is shaky because it doesn’t employ a 10 second delay on it’s live broadcasts. I’ll type it again:

RTE’s live broadcasts have no delay. NO DELAY.

Are they fucking nuts? This isn’t a time where people respect the National Broadcaster anymore. RTE are trying to stick the blame on the caller! That is pathetic. Really. I can’t believe they don’t have a delay. So if I was to TALK TO JOE tomorrow and string him along for a bit then shout out:

It would go out. Or you could say ‘Bob Byrne is a Pedo’ then I can sue you and RTE, the payout from RTE will dwarf your contribution and we can split the amount. It would be a grave step in the wrong direction for Irish defamation laws if this case goes through. I occasionally say some wacky shit about people and it’s inevitable in the long run that I will be involved in a court case but I don’t want be hung for something crap like the above scribbling.

On the subject of Bono, the Sunday Tribune saw it fit to dedicate a full page to Gavin Friday where he managed to impart the earth shattering revelation that he needs new gates on the front of his house. That’s it. That’s all that was said between a full page of verbal wank and serious laurel resting. Seriously though lads, what is the Irish media’s obsession with Bono’s friends Gavin Friday and Gugi? They grew up together, big deal. Friday was in a band called the Virgin Prunes and I’ll admit they had one track which was good but definitely deserve to be forgotten. I bet the bank that not one Irish teenager would know who they are yet we’re fucked in the ear constantly by them.

The paper gave him a full page yet relegated Gary Mc Kinnon’s story to a double column. Now that is some interesting shit.

Getting back to the Liveline thing, does anybody know what the caller said?, I remember hearing about it but don’t know what it was. Besides the salacious aspect (finally got to use that word, big shout out to Salacious Crumb) there is a serious matter of Minister Cullen giving his advisor bags of taxpayers cash, full story here.

I really hope that RTE’s claim is not upheld. And really really really hope this newly revealed ‘no delay’ thing is put to good use on Liveline by pranksters.

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