Wahey! Back in the internerd! Also back in work, but back in the internerd! Fuck, rough stuff moving house. My inbox is packed with mails that to be honest most won't be answered so I'm sorry.Isn't it annoying how even though you mark emails from Apple, iTunes, Dell as spam they still come through as if to say 'Of course we're not spam, we own the internet now let me in'. It's annoying.
This is the 150th post on clamnuts. I really can’t believe it. I never thought I’d even make it into double digits. When this site was being assembled by FrankP with his god like command of the nitty gtitty web stuff he said that I’d need content other than the comics. I had heard of web-logs before but thought the idea of an online diary a tad queer. Me and Poncho found this online diary of a geebag called Sargon in the late 90’s and it had us in stitches, it was some loser he was in school with and that was always my abiding memory of a web log “ Today I bought a new Pearl Jam T shirt and plan to wear it on Saturday” kind of stuff. I planned to occaisionaly update the ‘rants’ section but nothing crazy. I was adamant we call it the rants section as I was ashamed of the word ‘blog’
I now love bloggin, it’s great for developing half baked ideas for comics, getting stuff out of my system and for immeadiate feedback on things. I’ll definitely be doing a comic of this one and this one. Yep of course it drives traffic, my Rob Liefeld can’t draw feet thing is still by far the most popular page believe it or not. I love fiddling around with the web stat counter and seeing who’s looking at what, where they’re from and all. The amount of regular visitors is slowly growing and when it get’s high enough I’m going to concentrate on the site and put way more silly picturesand work into each post. I have a ton of true life stuff that as stated wouldn’t suit a published comic but would suit this format. Also, now that I'm spending more time than ever away from the drawing table/wank stationI have loads or recent real life stuff fresh in my mind. Like this:
The other week me and H were off looking for furniture. The issue of getting the right couch has been high on the list and we’ve visited every couch place around here from the snooty to the crusty. In one of the snootier places I saw this mean looking couch that appealed to me. I realised early that the best way to sample dozens of couches in one visit was not to sit down on them but to first check the material, the best looking and comfy couch in the world is only feasible if it can repel the various stains I plan on soiling it with. Not just talking about sex-wee and splilled ashtrays, I’m always dropping pizzas and leaving the tops off markers. So I’d go around pinching the fabric or whatever first. I gave the couch a feel and I nearly shit myself with fright. Like when you drink from your glass at a party and find you’ve picked up red wine instead of your beer and your brain and taste buds go crazy. Biting into a pepperami is the same kind of thing. Tastes completely different than what you thought. But this was the first time it’d happen by touching something.
This felt like a nut sack.
I believe the material is called Koala, but this was it thinned down. Absolutely the same texture as the loose skin on your daddy bag. What kind of weirdo would want that? Saying that, the Smeg brand is the brand of choice with the posher people I know. How the fuck do they not find the word smeg funny or unsettling. I have heard people say ‘Oh I love smeg, it’s the best stuff around’.
We left that place and went somewhere. Kitcheny-bathroom kind of place. I never thought much about sinks really, I knew I’d never have to buy one and they are just one of those things. I went over to the sink part to see what I’ve been missing out on.
Lads, I hate to break it you, but sinks have turned gay. Picture this: a huge marble slab, with a porcelain bucket/stumpy cone stuck to the marble, sort of trying to look like that the ’bucket’ is just resting on the slab, above this hangs a tap and twisty knob that looks like it was found in a Romanian’s house. The whole idea being that it’s a sink but also has a completely crap irony/art-wank presentation. Price: 6,000 Euro.
And there were a few on this theme. And interested parties marvelled at them like fucking idiots while a faggy little dude minced around them like he was somehow responsible for them and we should all be thanking him. What for the bath? An old timey tin thing with authentic rust burns and earwigs all over it? Imagine the fucknut who buys this sink and just can’t wait for Julian to take a break from the feta cheese dinner party and go to the toilet. He deserves to spend 6K on it. And it’s not like the people that buy them are enjoying the piece with some kind of nostalgia, like this was the kind of sink they used as a kid when they were poor, nah, they had a normal sink like everyone else. When I was a kid I had to wash myself in a red basin from Super Valu before school every morning, given the privacy of standing in the red basin watching telly at 7:30 in the AM is a fond memory. I must have seen every episode of Laverne and Shirley in that basin, nobody my age remembers that programme. That has nothing to do with the sink thing, just thought I’d mention it.
So yeah, I'm a happy little blogger. I have a bunch of new stuff that I'll be posting over the next few weeks and also details of the Shiznit launch thing. It's funny, 150 entries, countless hours online and I still can't type fast.
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Just got word that issue 3 is in Liams shop. Haven't seen it yet as I'm in work but it's a relief. I HATE the assembling/pre-press part of making comics and waiting for it to come back the printers is always a pain in the toastie.
