You have to love this. This is a screenshot from my webstat thing, the phrases that people use to find this site. Fairly representational of popular searches but the 'can I put tootpaste on my cock?' one is gold

If you have found this site by asking that question, the least I can do is answer it:
Yes of course you can put toothpaste on it. I have reason to beleive it will give a tingly sensation if applied to the nutsack. I had a of stint of putting Vick's Vapo-rub on my wang years ago and to be honest, yes it tingled but not really worth the effort. Put a sliver of ice down your japs-eye if you want a taste sensation, steam actually toot toots out and you'll shoot snowflakes. And ice-cream comes out of your bum. And you can sell the ice cream.
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A regular commenter Bren said this about the last post:

These horrible haircuts are all indescribable evolutions of the faux-hawk first championed by the twats on that reality show The Salon.

Faux-hawk.

That's what it's called. And a perfect name it is. Time was you saw a mohawk in Town and you could go up to him and get a slurp out of his flaggin. It actually meant something. Since Beckham got one it has appeared everywhere. I've always supported the idea of punk being about ideas and not fashion but it still annoys the shit out of me. Saying that, I knew a couple of punks who sported mohawks and they spent an obscene amount of time preening themselves, I gave up on the metal look and got my haircut because I found it too much effort being a metaller. I can see now that all the rockers that slagged the ravers for the ridiculous tracksuits and insular fashion sense were just two sides of the same coin.

Right so, the fauxhawk is covered but what about the other styles? The jaggedy straggly bits with highlights etc? What's that called? That image above was a kid I saw down The Square in Tallaght last night by the way. What a gem!

The evolution of a 'fashion' amuses me. Journalists need to fill space, give something a name like
Chav, Teddy Boy, Mods, Rockabilly, it's fashionable for a while in the sense of 'What? You mean you don't know what the Psychobilly look is?' and then the money moves in to sell it to the kids and the movement becomes a sickening caricature. All the while driven by cash. Jesus, remember Grunge? Vidal Sassoon or whatever brought out a Grunge style range of hair products for fuck's sake. That says it all.

Or one of my favourite lines and probably the most poignant scenes in Withnail and I where Danny say's:
'They're selling Hippie's wigs in Woolsworth'

I think I'm going to cry.
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Hey kids! I'm down with y'all. Above stands a pic of Money Mark and the drummer out of the Beastie Boys prentending to relax with a nice cold Shiznit issue 3. Is it 'out of the Beastie Boys' or 'who play with the Beastie Boys'? I don't know. At least they're not in the terrible position of calling a solo act The Streets.

Not a fan to be honest. Brian who snagged the pic evidentally is. I only figured out last year that their rapping was meant to serious, I always thought it was a knowing nod to whiteys clumsy and lame attempts to bust one. But apparently not. The nasal pitch and ABC/cat is on the mat rhyming is downright whack. I loved the vid for Sabotage but without the video the song is crap. The last track I heard was some shit 'Brooklyn, Queens, New York. Manhattan..' and it was just terrible.

But those two gennelmen above are brilliant. Fair play and nice one Brianer. I also have a pic of Simon Bisley ignoring Shiznit issue 1 somewhere.
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FrankP the whizz kid behind the site sez there may be slight glitches over the next while. So go fuck yourself.

I recently got the NTL package with a million stations and found Jetix to have some good stuff. went on their site and theres just to many things flashing and moving on it. I nearly had a panic attack. Seriously. Check it here.
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I think I want to be a bitter cripple that stares out the window all day. Yesterday during my illicit gazing sessions when I should be working on comics I saw a group of lads strutting their stuff and it hit me with same future shock I get now and then when I see flat screen tellies. What the fuck is up with young men’s hairstyles?

Besides the fact they were decked out in pastel blues and pink their hair just confused me and made me feel old and annoyed. If I saw them in town or in Rathgar or whatever I wouldn’t give them a second thought, but these were in Jobstown and constituted the average mindlessly roving gang that every estate has. Somebody please tell me what these hairstyles are called or give me a link to a website. One thing that gets me is that when I was a young metaller, long hair and combats stood out a mile in Tallaght and you’d get stick at every turn, but now these same little hardmen knackers have gelled, sprayed, frazzled, styled and girly hair so do they still give metallers and rockers the same abuse. How could they shout ‘State of your hair!’ at any one?

Their hairstyles are ridiculous. This, shaggy and erratic crap interrupted with highlights and tints goes beyond angering me in the sense of measuring their vanity but that these kids have been suckered. The pushing of cosmetics on to men is getting out of hand, a friend who has a 14 year old told me that the kid ‘needs’ a special shampoo, a special conditioner and 3 different waxes and gels to compose his crown. That is so gay! What next? Manpons?

These hair-do’s seem to be designed to just act a substrate for styling products. Nothing more. An apparatus made to consume as much products as possible and in need in of constant attention. It’s amazing how pics of men from the 1990’s look hilarious yet at the time we looked good, but these crazy hairstyles look ridiculous NOW and that says a lot.

I still don’t know how to use a search engine properly, can’t find out what this new wave of shitness is called. I think the ‘out of bed’ look era has passed and this style isn’t exactly designed to look spontaneous or casual, anybody know what it’s called? How about Faggerachi or something.

Moral: Pride in your appearance if you are a man means you like kissing willies.

(My hairstyle explained here)