What a jam packed page.

So this tangent is tailing off but rest assured there’s a good ending to it. This experience really was an eye opener to me about human behaviour and even more of an insight into the female mind. You know that scene in A Beautiful Mind where he comes up the game theory, he realises that if everybody goes for the good looking girl they all cancel each other out etc. Well this was my Beautiful Mind moment. Not just about girls but about how people will want something only because they see other people with it. When Summer ended and I went back to school me and a friend sold stickers for 5p each to everybody using my new found psychological manipulations. Plus I learned what a french kiss felt like from a slob.

This really is unbelievable. A rap against rape.

I’ve also heard about campaigns to end domestic abuse. Should it not be campaigns to ‘treat and prevent’? It’s as vague and impossible as hoping for World Peace. You can’t stop rape. It’s like starting a campaign against meteorites.

I was never a tracer. I traced one picture of He Man and I was foolish to copy the TM trademark so that it came out MT in the trace job.

I’m blabbing my heart out over on Micks today about the one comic that made me want to give this shit a go

Before you start pissing in your pants over the N word, this is what happened, I don’t create it, I just relate it.

I thought of changing it in the comic but ‘donkey lips’ doesn’t have the same effect.

I’m in Dublin right now but posting from the future in Spain and it got me thinking about where is the internet stored and could it be destroyed? I know it was made to be a nuclear holocaust proof means of communication but if each internet provider, and there must be millions of them, were destroyed simultaneously would it just be gone AND if only two or three were left could they communicate with each other? Forget ‘where do babies come from Mammy’, these are the questions kids must be asking today.

I also always wondered this: If a man is put in a vat of water up to neck and he can’t drink it, would he ever die from dehydration? Would the water go in through his pores and keep him hydrated?

Ed Torian is an old bloke who does all the lie detection stuff on Stern, here’s a classic bit with him trying to sing ‘Can a nigga get a table dance’

Hey all you wonderful party people. I’m going back to Dublin next week so I’ve uploaded next week’s one ahead of time so it’ll be live Wednesday instead of Friday. I still can’t spell Wednesday and depend on the spell checker thing.

Ah the old biscuit tins….every house had one, cats were buried in them and photos were stored. Every Christmas your family would buy a tin of biscuits and you’d sneak into the layer below to get another of those ones with the jelly star.

I got two mails over the past couple of weeks asking how do I make the comics, how I letter them etc and the answer is Manga Studio, a fantastic piece of software dedicated to making comics. I really want to record me making a page and was thinking Screencast is the best way….? Any ideas?

I watched the new Karate Kid last week and it’s great, check out clamnuts.com for a post about Will Smith being a phoney. With that in mind check out this classic Fresh Prince prank. The black bloke jumps in because the same prankster has stung him loads of times before, all on youtube.

UPDATE: Cheers to Mike Clark for the Screenr heads up. Just tried it now, there was a huge lag on it but I’ll sort out a proper one soon.

This page was fun to draw for some reason. Probably because it’s not as dense as the last few ones. And that tasty bit of leg didn’t hurt either.

Mogwais…I really should include it in a future comic of how I thought Mogwais ( The gremlins from Gremlins for all you heretics) were real after an adult showed me photos of them in a magazine. They were publicity stills for the film but I thought this was a newspaper announcing that these little monsters had been found somewhere and they little pink cars and some of them are baddies. I was so excited.

Check out everything I hate about THE WIRE

This video is amazing. A news report re purposed into a song

Hey worms, gotta run. Be sure to check out the new clamnuts site next week for a slew of good posts, I’ll be expanding on some other childhood things in text form. Spread the word, put twitters on your myface pages, carve urls into your friends arms with a compass. After 9 months or so of a blogging and ranting absence my readership has gone way down, I know you want to keep this your dirty little secret but trust me, the more people reading, the more wacky shit I’ll confess to

UPDATE: Check the comments for an official response from my Da. I didn’t even know he was reading this shit!

The Block Vs The Big Block.

That was my world until I was 7 or 8. It was called a block because you could walk around the whole thing on the footpath until they closed the lanes in the late 80’s due to syringes being found. That was a big blow to so many friendships. Without the lanes you had to walk all the way around the block.

The Big Block was always exciting. Beyond the boundaries of the Big Block was a whole forbidden world that no kids were allowed visit. But of course we ventured over to look at the busy main road now and then. We ridiculed the 5 year olds who weren’t allowed leave our road.

I had that Iron Maiden album for years before I actually listened to it. Was never mad about them. I won the Fraggle Rock album from Larry Gogan’s radio show.

Sorry for the delay, problem with uploading. I posted this page on my NEW fokking site as a back up. Go here to see to a pic of me as a kid, play with my wonderful hi tech games, read comics etc. And spread the word! The more readers I have the more comics I’ll make, If I can get a couple of thousand readers a day I’ll turn SPAZZMOID into a daily thing, 5 comics a week.

Remember those ice pops and lolly pops that if you got a certain number on them you would get another one free? I always wonder if it was just a local myth that the shop staff honoured.

I loved going to that shop and getting sweets, Jaw Berries being my favourite. Ten penny bags also a hit. There was one girl that worked in there that would always give you extra jellies, once I gave her a pound and asked for a hundred penny jellies and I got 150. But her colleague was a scab and counted them exactly. I always remembered the generous one being pretty and friendly. But about 6 years ago I was back at the shop and she was still there, wrecked. Face all fucked up and old, posture bad, teeth ropey, menopause kicking in.

But I gave her a big smile and said thanks. And I meant it. She made me and hundreds of other kids in the estate happy.

Lissen Dis: the new site is being moved over right now so maybe there’ll be glitches or whatever.

Be sure to catch next week’s comic, its a good one, Brendan does not come out of this good….

One of the classic sound bites from my life. I presume you all were hip enough to be excited by Creepshow when it came out back around ‘86. I fucking loved it. LOVED IT. But of course after watching again about 2 years ago I was appalled at how awful parts of it are.

The cake scene in question can be seen below. They seemed to have trimmed out the ‘you bitch’ though. That was the best part!

In digging up these memories from that Summer of 1986 I was reminded of all the other ropey videos I was into and the ruse and fibs needed to be allowed watch a 15’s cert. Some classics from that year include:

The Eliminators

Terror Vision (odd choice for a trailer narrator, he sounds like an American doing a quaint impression of Vincent Price being gay and English)

And our family favourite and still genuinely a great fokkin movie