Wahey! After last weeks piece of shit comic I decided to get serious and do a great story for the next few weeks. This is a good one.
All good in the hood here. This week I hurt myself laughing at something I found online. I was on the couch messing around on my iphone and I googled ‘masturbation record’ and I found this forum for teenagers. I haven’t laughed so much; the grammar, the slang, the innocence. It’s my new favourite website. With threads titled ‘Does Dr Pepper make my vagina smell’, ‘What time should I get up on xmas day? and of course ‘How many times have you masterbated in one day?‘
This reads like haiku or something. The Mario Kart reference and the part where he says he watched ‘The Mask’ just had me in stitches.
15 times when I was 13
woke up
jerked it twice
ate breakfast
took shower
jerked it again(3)
watched tv
went on computer jerked it(4)
rents were gone
waited an hour
jerked again(5)
ate lunch
jerked it(6)
went outside to swim
wehen I got back jerked it twice(7,8)
ate again
watched the mask
jerked it to some Internet porn(9)
played Mario Kart 64
jerked it again(10)
ate dinner
went upstairs
took shower jerked it(11)
got out and before I got dressed jerked it again(12)
played golden-eye for an hour
jerked it 3 times before I fell asleep(13,14,15)
Beautiful. Be sure to check back next week as the new comic heats up.
Bob, I just looked at that thread.
I can’t believe you didn’t mention the guy who repeatedly jacked off IN CLASS. Or the guy who knocked one out in the cinema “when my friend wasnt looking at really loud part “.
Classic stuff, man.
Great page this week, really like the style you’ve adopted. The pissed-off look on your face in that third panel is magnificent.
I was forced to play the Cliff Richards part from ‘Summer Holiday,’ in a school musical once. That scarred me for life.
I still can’t get on a double decker.
Great comic today man. Love the last panel.
Hey friends, yes this story is actually good, feel like posting the next part right now. It goes off on a few tangents about me growing up.
Ah Cliff Richards is okay in fairness. I was forced to act out the ‘ 9 year old girl in front of bedroom mirror’ calibre choreography from some dopey bird. I remember all the lads meeting in the yard and discussing it, some of us even suggested other songs like Wham and that Nelly the Elephant song.
Kyle you can easily spend a few hours on that site, I’m going to register and post something odd in text msg lingo and see what replies I get.
This is class, man. Have a real urge to watch Highway to Heaven too.
Brilliant work Bob.
i read the “15 times when I was 13 woke…..” bit on your rants page, there wasn’t any information regarding it so i just presumed thats what you did today
I presumed that’s what he did EVERY day
Ah yeah me too, I looked at the rants page and just thought it was Bob’s routine.