Aug 28th

The Gypsy Rose in Dublin

I was back in Dublin last week for a few days and went to meet my brother in that new pub where The Viper Room used to be. What an awful name to call a club, the Viper Room. I went there before and in the toilets instead of seeing the usual jovial black man dispensing soap, he was slumped in a toilet cubicle pretending to have died of an overdose like River Phoenix.

But now its The Gypsy Rose. With Bruxelles having revamped and upped their prices and with Fibbers ‘not being as good as it used to be’ for the past 20 years, this new pub is swarming with rockers looking for a new home. And that’s understandable really. But this is also the reason why I was moved to write about it.

I love studying group psychology and dynamics, like in every classroom there is the messer, the kid that can draw, the smelly one etc becasue we readily seek and adapt new roles in a group environment. We’ve all been in a situation where you find yourself vying for role of funny guy. I served on a jury before and there three lads who wanted to be leader, after an hour one of them chose to be the funny bloke and the second in line just admitted defeat and became the leader’s lapdog. We’re all idiots. Naked apes the lot of us.

And in the Gypsy Rose you could write your sociology thesis. Take a new ‘rocker/metaller/I’m different’ friendly venue and throw in every dope who considers himself a bit of a character or an eccentric rogue and watch them strut,pose and lay claim to this new territory. Maybe one lad always wanted to be known as the bloke who drank tequila in Bruxelles or the best headbanger in the Rock Garden and now is their chance to get in first. It’s a gold rush. A race to take up the vacancies for phoney personalities and characters.in In The Gypsy Rose, which is only open a few weeks it’s open casting. The majority of metallers think they are so out there, hard drinking heroes when in reality they are immature twits. Just as, if not more guilty of vanity and snobbery than a bloke who gets his haircut twice a month and irons his shirts.

I got stink eye from a bloke who obviously wasn’t impressed to see another muscular bastard with short hair drinking Guinness. HE wants to be the bloke with short hair who drinks Guinness in The Gypsy Rose. I was stealing his fake thunder. I saw one bloke come in with a red bandanna, see that loads of men were wearing a red bandanna so he goes in to the toilet and takes it off. There was also a lot of people with scribbles all over their face but I think they were probably relieved to see others in the same boat. The same sinking boat. You are now 35-40, unemployable and vacant. You used to be the mad one, maybe in your group you still are but it’s over for you.

It’ll probably be another year before I return to Dublin and I will eagerly visit The Gypsy Rose on Aston Quay to see how the ant farm worked out. I wish I could watch it all on a time lapsed camera from here. Grown men preening themselves. Staking their claim. Cultivating characters.

It’s over. Give it up. Cut your hair, extract all those shit piercings and conform. I did years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Don’t paint yourself into a corner. Move forward.

(Read one of my comics about the same thing here)

Posted in Blog, ireland, rants by Bob on Aug 28th | comments icon 16 Comments

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  • collieennis

    used to hate going to brux and getting evil eyes because i didn’t have the proper haircut or attire on, still see most of those twats cycling about town going to collect their dole and then go home to their ma’s for lunch. gobshites.

  • Stewbie

    Ah man well said. I was in there the night it opened and copped the groups trying to figure out where are the best seats for maximum posing advantage. But it’s true though, the Foggy and Bruxelles are shit now

  • Ponyo

    Was in there last night, what a fucking unfriendly kip. Barman had his little “attitude” delivery. I asked him was he still serving then what price a pint of Bulmers was.
    - “The one thing we dont serve is smartarses”
    He wouldnt tell me what price it was for no reason. I automatically assumed it was because the price was sky high and not just because he was a fucking cunt. So I said
    “Oh right is this like a posh bar or something?”
    He nearly shit himself then
    “The ONE thing this is not is a posh bar” Its a down to earth blah blah hard rocking blah blah blah

    Kip, hope it burns to the ground

  • Liam

    Amusing read.

    Can’t agree on the whole exhortation to conform though. Having long hair and /or tatts or piercings doesn’t neccessarily entail having an oversized ego/posing etc. and neither is it something which needs to be grown out of, in my opinion. I know plenty of guys with long hair, who are die-hard Metalheads and who have very good jobs.

    And as for Gypsy Rose – seems people lose it altogether any time a new bar opens in town. Seems like a slightly better set-up than Fibbers 2 across the river, which I can’t see lasting much longer, but still I don’t think the place is amazing or anything.

  • http://www.clamnuts.com Bob

    Listen I’m just a vain as everybody else but having being a metaller for years ( I still have NAPA from an abandoned NAPALM DEATH tattoo) I know how much effort it is to maintain the look.

    Ponyo you’re a smartarse.

  • george

    you should do up a rant on fibbers in parnell st kid next time your over . similar to the cantina in mos eisley. dublin pubs going downhill since the king of city centre pubs closed.eamon dorans. gypsey rose . i shall check it out next week..hope alls well in spain..

  • Ponyo

    It is undeniable

  • http://N/A Hanvol Smith

    I was just seeing if there were any gigs on in town tonight and stumbled across this. You are very self righteous. Calling groups of people ant farms, i kind of feel a little sorry for you considering your bleek outlook on the group of people who you probably don’t know. maybe you should re-examine your own elitist attitude before so easily insulting others.

  • http://www.clamnuts.com Bob

    I agree with you. You ant.

  • misfit

    Stewbie: I would imagine that he though you were being a smart arse because all drinks are €4 before midnight – like going into a €2 shop and asking the staff “how much is this?” :-)

  • misfit

    sorry, meant Ponyo

  • Jack

    I couldn’t agree more with this piece. What a f**king hole. The two times I’ve been there I’ve almost got in a row. One with some moldy looking d**khead who insisted on roaring ‘What?’ to me when I was trying to dry my hands and then with this crazy pissed girl who wanted me to sing Ray Le montange to her!!. I’m not mr short back and sides by any means , the patrons attitude in this place just stinks even with those two encounters left aside. Lots of sad ego games and posturing , paper tigers mostly. I’d sooner be in a so called ‘Regular’ pub might find some real rockers or characters there. DJ downstairs is a sound fella though.

  • http://www.clamnuts.com Bob

    Paper tigers…I like it.

  • Tova

    Was here on the same night -August 29- as the unwell wisher above. I think the unbelievably infantile co-owner Mark was out-of-town for a hockey convention in Canada and the co-owner barkip was pissed off that he had no help at the bar and was such an asshole it was amazing
    Two nights earlier there was a New-Jersey rocker guy playing tribute to Thin Lizzy for like two hours and you could just die of boredom When I wrote him a NICE note towards the end asking him to play Sweet Home Alabama his response into the mike was something along the lines of fucking stupid crowd bugging me while I am trying to play Very rude and I am a rockin chick not easily put off
    Never went back in there again and never will
    Mark if you are reading this:grow up

  • http://latoyabridges.co.cc/ Latoya Bridges

    sorry, meant Ponyo

  • Bunzybunzy

    U jelly?

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